Breathe in, breathe out
by Mariella Montgomery
Summary: An Addek story. Addison comes to Seattle, but she doesn't have good news.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys,

I know I should update my other stories, but this came into my mind. I didn't give up on my other stories only though you know. ;)

The song is "Breathe in, breathe out" by Mat Kearney.

It sets at the end of season 1 when Addie comes to Seattle.

Hope you'll like it and review.

Wish you all a happy new year (... I know it's a little too late ...).

Love Mariella

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**Breathe in, breathe out**

_Breathe in, breathe out  
Tell me all of your doubts  
Everybody bleeds this way, just the same  
Breathe in, breathe out  
Move on and break down  
If everyone goes away, I will stay  
We push and pull  
And I fall down sometimes  
__And I'm not letting go  
You hold the other line  
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes_

_Hold on, hold tight  
If I'm out of your sight  
And everything keeps moving on, moving on  
Hold on, hold tight  
Make it through another night  
In every day there comes a song with the dawn  
We push and pull  
And I fall down sometimes  
And I'm not letting go  
You hold the other line  
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes  
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes_

_Breathe in and breathe out  
Breathe in and breathe out  
Breathe in and breathe out  
Breathe in and breathe out_

_Look left, look right  
To the moon and the night  
Everything under the stars is in your arms_

_Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes  
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes  
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes_

"Addison, I want you to make this operation."

"Richard, I'm not sure about coming to Seattle …"

"You're the best damn surgeon Addie and this is a TTTS. Please come."

Addison sighed, "Ok, but there's something I have to tell you …"

Three days later Addison arrived in Seattle. It was very late when she entered SGH. Nobody was there except Richard and a few doctors and nurses. He smiled at Addison when she entered his office.

"Hey, how are you doing?", he hugged her tightly.

"Fine."

"Now tell me how you're really doing."  
She sat down, "I'm holding myself together … it will become better."

"Addie if you …"  
"Seriously Richard, let's talk about something else. I heard my dear husband has a little girlfriend here. Tell me about her."  
"Addison …", Richard sighed, but gave in, "she's an intern here. Her name is Meredith Grey, she's Elise' daughter."

Addison nodded, "Yeah … Richard you know I'm really tired … I think I will get a cab and go to my hotel."  
"Ok, see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

The next morning SGH gossip mile only talked about a tall red haired woman, who looked like a super model when she entered yesterday the office of the Chief, but Derek Shepherd was so deep into work that he didn't hear it, because if he would, he would have known who arrived yesterday.

Bailey and her interns just ended rounds, "O'Malley you're with Shepherd, Karev and Stevens pit, Yang you're with Burke and Grey you're with Montgomery-Shepherd."

Meredith looked up in surprise, who was Montgomery-Shepherd. Bailey noticed her look, "She had a talk with Burke, so you can go together", she said before she left.

Meredith and Christina went down the hall to find Dr. Burke and the mysterious doctor. It didn't take long when they hear Preston Burke laugh. They looked at each other bewildered, normally he never laughed, when they were thinking they never heard him laugh during work. They crossed the corner and saw him standing with a beautiful tall red head.

"That's Montgomery-Shepherd … they have to be kidding us", Meredith whispered to Christina.

When Burke saw them, he addressed the gorgeous red head, "Addison that are Dr. Grey and Dr. Yang, Drs. Grey and Yang that's Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd from New York. She's here for the TTTS and I heard you are the lucky intern who is allowed to assist her Grey."

Meredith nodded. Now it was Addison's turn, "Thanks Preston. See you later", she went down the corridor, "Grey are you coming? I don't have the whole day …"

Meredith hurried up. Now was the first time she wondered about the similarity to Derek's name. Maybe she was his sister or something. Meredith noticed how good she was in her job and that she looked like a super model. That really wasn't fair.

"Dr Grey, I need the results really fast … can you get them", Addison addressed Meredith, who was deep in thoughts.

"Sure", she only answered and left. Addison sighed. So that was the new girlfriend of her husband. She was the Anti-Addison. She sighed again, she could have expected that. She looked back at the chart when Derek crossed the corner. He noticed the flash of red hair and looked up. He saw her. Why was she here? He went over to her.

"Addison, what are you doing here?"  
"You would know if you would have answered one of my calls."

"Addison!"

"Relax Derek, I'm just here for the TTTS and I brought papers with me."  
"Papers?"  
"Divorce papers."  
Derek was shocked, he could have expected this, but still he was shocked. He looked at her closely. She seemed to be thinner than he reminded her and she looked more stressed, even if she perfectly know how to hide it, he saw it. She seemed much weaker and a little bit smaller, "Addie what …"  
"Don't care, it's none of your business", she answered fast.

"Addison …"  
"You didn't care in the past why should you care now?"  
"Addison, what happened back in New York wasn't my fault", he now went angry.

"Oh yeah, poor Derek, you're the one who was cheated on, you know what. I never really cheated, because I haven't a husband back in New York. I had a husband years ago, but he stopped coming home and stopped caring. He didn't even notice … whatever ... send me the papers back when you signed them."  
Derek was in shock, "He didn't noticed what?" He grabbed her arm and noticed now even more she lost way to much weight.

"He didn't even notice his wife has cancer", Addison quietly and left.

Derek was frozen on the spot, she couldn't have cancer. She was Addison. She just couldn't have cancer.

"Addison", he screamed after her, but she didn't turn around, "Addison, damn, stop you're my wife!"

Now everyone was looking at them. In this moment Meredith appeared with the test results. She looked between the two Shepherds, they had to be kidding her. She looked at Derek with a hurt look, but he didn't really noticed her, he just had eyes for his wife. His wife who had cancer.

"Oh Addison …", he went over to her, "I'm sorry … could we … could we talk in private."  
Addison shrugged her shoulders and they went to Derek's office. When the door closed he looked at her closely, "How long …"  
"I wanted to tell you that night … but you didn't come home, so instead I told Mark and he … he cared."

"Addison I'm .."  
"No don't be, I'm getting better. I was operated a month ago and the chemo started a week ago. I think I will shave my hair soon, because I couldn't stand losing them. Mark's great, he supports me and he waits for me back in NY, there's nothing you have to do … just sign the papers and sent them back. I will only stay for two days to do the TTTS and then I won't bother you and your … new girlfriend anymore."

Before Derek could say anything, she left. Addison avoided him the next days and before Derek could talk to her again, she had left. After she left he thought a lot. He hadn't seen Meredith often lately.

Two weeks after Addison left Meredith came to talk to him.  
"Derek can we talk?"

"Sure."  
"Was she really … I mean."  
"Yeah, she's my wife. I met her in med school and we got married before we became interns. I left her … because I was furious."  
"What would you make so furious to leave suddenly", Meredith asked noisy.

"It doesn't matter. It's just … I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, but I have to. I will leave tomorrow, I love her, I noticed that now. I can live without her, but I don't want to. I'm sorry Meredith."

Meredith nodded and Derek tried to hug her.

She looked at him, "Just leave …"

And he left

Two days later Derek stood in front of his, Addison's and Mark's practice in Manhattan. They were so proud when they were successful enough to open their own practice and a lot of people came there. They were a good team. He missed that, he missed his best friend and he missed his wife even more. He entered the practice. It still looked the same the only difference was that his office was empty. He knocked softly at Addison's door.

"Come in", he heard her voice.

He entered the room, she turned around and was shocked, "Derek I …"

He looked at her, she looked better not as pale as in Seattle. She had her hair really short. He always thought how she would look like with that short hair since she told him that she would cut it. She looked really good.

"Addie, hey."  
"What are you doing here."  
You forgot something in Seattle."  
"What would that be?"  
"You forgot me."  
"Derek, I …"  
"Addison, listen, please, you can throw me out afterward, but please listen to me first."  
"Ok."

"I missed you so much. I'm sorry for being absent. I was a jerk and I had no right to judge you like this. When you told me you had cancer I was so scared. Addison I can't make this without you. You're my life. You're my wife. I love you more than everything. Please give me, give us another try. I promise you, you won't regret it."  
Addison looked at him for a while, "You know I love you too much for my own sanitary Derek Shepherd."  
"Is this a yes."  
"Yes, you jerk. Just promise not screw it up again."  
"Promise you. I'll be by your side until my dying day. I only breathe in and out because of you. I love you Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd."

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Pretty please review! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys,

loved your reviews to chapter 1. Thank yu so much for that. I wasn't sure in the beginning if I should go on writing, but you liked it so I went on.

Here's chapter 2, I hope you'll like it.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Addison sighed. She missed Derek when he wasn't there, but it had hurt her to see him with another woman in Seattle.

"Derek, I think we have some things to talk about."  
"Sure."  
They sat down on the couch and Derek looked at her closely, after a while he started to speak quietly, "You look better than in Seattle. You're not as pale as when you were there, but you're … you're too skinny Addie."  
"I know that, but the chemo works good … I feel better."  
"Addie you never told me what kind of …", he couldn't say it.

"What kind of cancer I have. It's ovarian cancer. They removed one of the ovarian it was …", Addison closed her eyes and Derek saw a silent tear running down her cheek. He moved a bit closer to his wife and hugged her tight.

"Addie …", but he didn't know what to say.

"Don't say anything", Addison begged in a low voice. Derek nodded and they sat in a tight embrace for a while.

"Tell me about the chemo", Derek whispered. He hated that his wife had cancer, but he wanted to support her as much as possible.

"It's … exhausting, some days I'm really tired and I'm not really hungry, because most time I eat something I boil it a few hours later. Most of my clothes doesn't really fit anymore … I dragged Mark last week to buy some new clothes. I spent too much money like all times."

Derek smiled a little bit. She didn't want to be weak and he loved her for the fact that she didn't want to show him how broken she felt, but he could see it in her eyes, "We could go shopping. I missed to go shopping with you."  
Addison smiled at bit, "Yeah that would be a good idea."

In this moment the door was opened, "Addie, do you think …", Mark entered the room and he saw Derek, "Derek sorry, I didn't know …" Derek stood up and went to Mark. Mark knew his friend was mad with him and he knew that what he did was not easy to forgive. It surprised him more that Derek didn't hit him, they looked at each other.

Then Derek said, "Hey Mark, nice to see you."

Mark looked at Derek, "Hey, good to see you too."

In this moment the receptionist Louise came inside the room, "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, your next patient is here."

"Ahm I …", but before Addison could say anything more, Derek kissed his wife, "I'll wait for you outside. Come on Mark."

Addison smiled a bit at Derek, "Thanks."

Derek and Mark sat down at Mark's office. They didn't talk for a while. Finally Derek asked Mark, "Tell me how she was the last month?"  
"It was a shock. You know her, she hates when someone sees her that broken."

"Yeah."

"After the operation … she was really weak … and then she went to Seattle … I don't know what she told you there, but when she was back she just looked at me and told me, Mark we have to go to the hairdresser … and we went there and she cut her hair. I never expected this, she just smiled at me and told me that she would hate to lose her hair, but in this way she can decide herself. Derek, don't get me wrong, I'm really sorry for what I did. This night … it should never have happened, but it did. Addie's my best friend. I promise you by all that's worth it that there was nothing more than friendship after this night. I love her, I love her so much, but she's your wife and I love her as a friend, as a really damn sexy friend, but as friend. I just can't stand to see her sad and she was so sad when you were absent. Derek I …"

"No Mark, let me talk now. You are right, I was absent. I was a jerk. I neglected my wife and you tried to tell me, but I didn't listen. I was mad at both of you, but you know I can't really hate Addison. So you were the only option, but I was wrong. Mark we're friends like forever. Do you think we could be friends again?"

Mark smiled at Derek, "We're not friends Derek … we're brothers."  
Derek smiled, "Yeah, you're right. We're brothers."

A few minutes later a surprised Addison came into Mark's office and found what she didn't expected: two laughing men.

"Hey …"

"Hey Addie, everything went good with your patient?", Mark asked her.

"Yeah, everything's fine and you two seem to have fun."  
"We were just thinking about med school …"  
She smiled, "Yeah … Derek I'm really exhausted and I have no more patients for today …"

Derek understood, "We should go home then."

"See you tomorrow?", Mark asked them.

"See you tomorrow Mark", Addison hugged him.

"See you tomorrow man", Derek added and they left.

Derek drove Addison's car home. She still lived at the brownstone. The ride home was silent.

When they came home Derek saw what Mark tried to describe earlier. His wife tried her best to hide it, but she didn't manage for now. They sat at the dining table. Derek cooked pasta for them. Addison loved pasta, but for now she was only staring at her food.

"Addie … please, at least a bit. Eat something."

"Derek …"

But Derek rushed over to her, "I'm here. You don't have to be strong all the time. I got you. He pulled her close. Addie, you can cry. I know you want to be strong, but I'm your husband."

Addison leaned in and started to cry, "Derek, I …"  
"Shhh …don't."

They sat there for a while. When Addison cried all her tears, Derek pulled her up and carried her to the bed. They laid down and he kissed her, "I got you. I promise you I will do everything I can to get you better."

Addison didn't say a word, but Derek could see all her thoughts in her eyes. She cuddled close to him and soon they were both asleep.

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I smile my most beautiful smile and say: Please review! Thanks you guys rock my day with your reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for all your reviews to the last chapter. The only reason I kept on writing are you, because I planed this story in the very first beginning as a one shot, but I'm really glad you liked it so much, because I have so many ideas for this stroy.

I wrote this story for Antonia, I hope she likes it ... and that all of the other readers like it too.

Love Mariella

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**Chapter 3**

Derek woke up late the next morning. Addison was still lying next to him and sleeping. Derek smiled. She looked so beautiful when she slept. He knew it sounded a little bit like stalking, but he loved to see his wife sleeping. The sun was shining through the window and it seemed to be a beautiful day in New York. It was beginning December and he knew Addie loved Christmas. Maybe it would snow soon. He smiled by the imagination when Addison saw the snow the first time for this season. He remembered so well their first Christmas season together.

_It was early in the morning. It was the 10__th__ of December. Up to now the weather wasn't pretty good and Addison woke up. She smiled. She cuddled close to her boyfriend for now 2 months Derek Shepherd. She smiled. She loved Christmas and couldn't wait that the snow fell down. She stood up and looked through the window and then she saw it. The snow had begun to fall over night. By now the ground was covered by snow and it was still snowing. She smiled and went back to Derek._

"_Derek, stand up!"_

_Derek opened his eyes, "What? What's wrong?"  
"Look outside", Addison told him smiling. Derek went to the window and saw the snow, "Addie, it's only snow", when he turned around he saw Addison searching for something warm._

"_Please Derek, get dressed."_

_Derek sighed, "You know I like summer much more …"_

"_Derek", Addison whined and he couldn't resist, his girlfriend looked to gorgeous, so he gave in, "Yeah, I'm getting dressed."_

_A while later the two of them went outside, "Where do you want to go?", Derek asked her._

_Addison smiled, "I don't care", she swirled around and enjoyed the snow. Derek smiled. Addison looked so happy and he was happy they were together. He really was a lucky guy when she gave in and said she would go out with him. He was sure that she would be the woman he would marry one day. A snowball hit his jacket and he turned around. Addison was smiling like a little child._

"_You'll regret that", Derek told his girlfriend and soon they were both covered with snow and lying on the ground. The laughed like children. Derek looked closely at Addison, "Maybe snow isn't that bad."  
"Told you and I'm always right", she said smiling._

_Derek rolled his eyes, "Yeah … whatever. You're in for a coffee?"  
"Of course."  
"Then come on little snow-woman."_

Derek couldn't help but smile. He stood up and made breakfast, he knew Addison hasn't been hungry lately, so he only made food from which he knew she loved and went back to their bed. He opened the curtains so that you could see the snow falling. She would like it. He sat down next to her and she was still sleeping, but then he noticed something was wrong. Her chest didn't move up and down. He let the tablet with the food fall and went close to her.

"Addie, what..", he turned her around and then he saw it. She pall and her skin felt cold. Derek was shocked, she couldn't be .., there was no way …

"Please Addie, don't do that to me", he whispered quietly.

He grabbed the phone and called the hospital. They told him they will be there in a few. He tried his best to make Addison breathe again, but it didn't work too well.

The ambulance arrived a few minutes later. The brought Addison into the ambulance and they drove to the hospital. They made Derek wait outside. He hated that. He hated that he wasn't able to do anything. He should be inside with his wife. He went up and down.

"Come on Addie, come on. Please don't die … I don't know what I should do without you", he whispered and tears were running down his face. He hasn't cried in years, but now he was, because his wife wasn't breathing and he didn't notice immediately. He just got her back. He knew he was a jerk and normally Derek Shepherd wasn't really religious, but now he was praying to God to let his wife survive, because she made him a better man and he wanted to make everything up to her that caused her pain in the past. The door of the room opened a bit and Derek only heard one of the doctors announcing, "Time of death, 9.27 a.m." and he broke down.

Derek woke up drenched in sweat. It was 5 a.m. He looked to his right and saw Addison lying there. Her chest was moving up and down. He sighed. He only had a nightmare. He looked out of the window and saw the snow falling. He cuddled a bit nearer to Addison and heard her chest moving up and down and her heart beat. He was really relieved that he only had a bad nightmare. He couldn't stand when she would die. She moved a bit and opened her eyes, but he whispered softly, "It's early sweetie, I'll wake you up when it's time." He saw her smile and she snuggled a bit closer to him and fell asleep. Derek could only hold his wife. He didn't sleep again, because he was too afraid that his dream could come true. He saw the snow falling and heard her heartbeat and it was all he needed to be happy for now.

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So, I know it was a bit angsty, but I hope you liked it. It would be really great if you review and tell me. Maybe you have ideas what should happen next, because I have a few ideas, but I'm not pretty sure how I will go on with the story.

Thank you so much for reading. :D


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for all your reviews. You guys really rock my day by reviewing, because I had a really stressful week and your reviews made me smile. Thanks for this.

I hope you like this chapter too ... I took me a while to update it, because I wasn't pretty sure.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Derek woke up the next morning. Addison was still lying next to him and sleeping. Derek smiled. She looked so beautiful when she slept. He knew it sounded a little bit like stalking, but he loved to see his wife sleeping. The sun was shining through the window and it seemed to be a beautiful day in New York. It was beginning December and he knew Addie loved Christmas. Maybe it would snow soon. He smiled by the imagination when Addison saw the snow the first time for this season. He remembered so well their first Christmas season together.

Derek wondered this seemed so familiar to him, than he remembered his nightmare, he wanted to stay awake, but he fell asleep maybe an hour ago.

He looked at his wife, but she was only sleeping, her chest was moving. He couldn't describe how happy he was. He leaned in and kissed her softly. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, you?", he didn't want to tell her his nightmare. He couldn't tell her, because he couldn't say it … it hurt too much even if it was only a dream.

"Yeah."  
"You're up to breakfast?"  
"Dunno …"

"Oh come on Addie, I'll make you pancakes …"  
Addison thought for a moment, "Ok."  
They stood up. It was Friday, so after today they would have the whole weekend to relax. They went down to the kitchen. Derek started to cook, Addison made the coffee and then she looked the first time out of the window. It had begun to snow over night. Addison smiled, "Derek, there's snow."

Derek smiled during Christmas season he sometimes thought Addie became a child again, but he loved it. He loved how much she loved Christmas. He kissed her, "Yeah, it snow."

A few minutes later they were sitting at the table and ate breakfast and what made Derek happier than everything that his wife was eating. He sighed, it seemed to be a good day.

An hour later Derek and Addison entered the practice. Louise sighed, "Finally. You two have appointments half an hour ago."

Addison looked at her, "No, my first appointment was at … 10 a.m."  
"It's now 10.30 a.m."  
Addison looked at her watch, "Damn, sorry."  
"She's waiting in your office."  
"Thanks Louise", Addison smiled at her, gave Derek a kiss, grabbed the patient's file and left.

Derek wanted to leave, when Louise told him, "Dr. Shepherd, there's a patient for you too."  
Derek turned around, "I just came here yesterday."  
"Yeah, you know people talk and your patients missed you, so … he's waiting in your office."

"Ok, sure. Thanks Louise", Derek left.

It was around lunch when they both had finally time to relax a little. Addison sighed, she didn't feel well. The day started good, but now she felt bad again. She felt like she would boil soon again. Someone knocked at her door. She hoped it was Derek. "Come in."

But it wasn't Derek, who came in, it was her brother Archer.

"Hey Adds."  
"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you and you're not really polite you know that."  
"Sorry … hey Archie."

They hugged. "You cut your hair."  
"Yes."

"Is there a special reason or do you only wanted to see how Derek and Mark reacted?"

"I … Archer in the last month … here happened a lot."  
"Ok. Do you want to tell me?"  
"Ok, sit down."  
"You know before you left to your Europe-trip Derek and I were …"  
"He was an ass …"  
"Yeah, and … there was this night, I was upset and he wasn't there, but Mark was and … I don't know … I slept with him and Derek … he came in when we were in bed and … he left. He didn't call or anything …"

Archer was now up to his feed, "He is a dead man. Where is he?"

"Archer, please, sit down. I … I was miserable and then Richard called, because they had a TTTS in Seattle. Derek moved there … and he had a girlfriend and I … I don't know … but he's back now and we're getting better. I think we can make this marriage work again even if it is hard."  
"He's so dead", Archer managed to say really angry. He stood up and was about to leave

"Archer, what I wanted to tell you is … I had … I mean I have … cancer."

Archer turned around, "What?"

"It's ovarian cancer, they removed one of my ovarian a few months ago. I'm getting chemo."

"Addison, you should have called me … you know I would have been here in no time."  
"I know."  
"Why didn't you call?"

"Mark was here … and now Derek is here too. I'm getting better Archie."  
Archer looked closely at his sister, "You're really skinny."  
"I know … Derek told me too", there were tears glittering in her eyes.

"Come on Addie, tell me what's bothering you."

"I don't know, it's this whole situation …"  
Archer looked at his sister, he went over and hugged her tightly, "It's ok Adds. You have the right to be upset."  
"I …", but Addison couldn't say anything more. She broke down. Archer carried her over to the couch. Tears were streaming down her face and she cried for the first time since she knew she had cancer. Archer didn't know what to say, he just hugged his younger sister tightly.

"Can you get Derek?", she asked him after a while quietly.

"Addie …"  
She looked up to him, "Please", Archer sighed. He never liked Derek Shepherd. He wasn't good enough for his baby sister, but she loved him. So he kissed her temple, "Sure. I'll be back in a few."

Archer went over to Derek's office. He knocked at the door, but didn't wait for a "come in", he just entered Derek's office. Derek's last patient was just on his way to leave.

"Archer …", Derek was stunned to see his brother-in-law.

"Derek."

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to check on my sister. I haven't heard her in a while."  
"Oh …", was all Derek managed to say. Addison and Archer had a pretty close relationship. He was her only relative she was really close too. He and Archer never get along really good.

Archer came closer and said in a low voice, "Ok Derek Shepherd, listen and listen closely, because I will only tell you once. You left your wife, who had cancer, which you didn't know, because you were too busy to operate. Addison is special, when you stop noticing her again, I'll kill you. She called me crying, because you didn't come home. She was so upset. Leave her once again and you will regret it. The only reason I don't do anything is because for some mysterious reason she loves you and she took you back even if you were screwing some other woman. I promise you Derek Shepherd when you upset her again, I'll be there and after I'm finished with you, you'll have nothing left. So … I hope I was clear. She wants to see you. Now!"

Derek was stunned. Archer seemed to hate him now even more than before … he never thought this was possible.

"I'll be at Mark's office. Tell her to come over later", Archer added before he left Derek's office.

Derek went over to Addison's office and saw her lying on the couch. He went inside and closed the door.

"Oh Addie", was all he managed to say. He went over and embraced her as tight as possible.

Addison couldn't stop the tears. She cried all the tears from the last weeks. Derek didn't say any word, because there was nothing he could say.

Addison looked up to him after a while, "You know the chance that we … that we can have a baby is really … low … and you always wanted kids and …", she sobbed again. She always imagined Derek and herself as parents, maybe they would never get the chance to be parents.

There it was. He asked himself what was bothering her so badly. He kissed her, "Oh Addie, maybe you're right, but there's still a chance and you know we could think about other options."

"What if I don't want another option. I want a little baby that's half you and half me and …"

Derek hugged her again tightly, "Addie, we will work this out, but for now you have to become healthy. I hate that you're ill and I know you don't want to show it, but you're really ill and I want to be there for you. Let me be your husband. Let me be the one who cares for you. You don't have to be strong. I know you like no one does and I love you."  
Addison cried, he was really sweet, "Derek you're …"  
"No, don't say anything. I'll pack my things, say bye to Mark and your brother and then we will go home to talk. You can tell me all the things that bother you and we can have these Chinese food you love that much. Deal?"  
Addison just nodded. Derek kissed her temple, "I'll be back soon."  
A few minutes later he was back. He grabbed her handbag, helped her to get into her coat and they went home. Addison looked at him while he was driving home. She was glad she had her husband back. They man she married 12 years ago, not the one who ignored her the last years. She could be weak around him sometimes and he loved her still.

"I love you too", she whispered softly.

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Please make me happy by reviewing. :D


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys,

my new chapter!

Wow, thank you so much for the last reviews. It's really cool how many reviews I get ... I wasn't pretty sure in the beginning if I should write this story.

I hope you'll like it.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Derek and Addison arrived at home a few minutes later. Addison sat down on the couch and Derek ordered the Chinese food. He was standing in the doorframe and looked at his wife. Addison had always been the strong beautiful smart woman, but now it was his turn to comfort her. She had every right to be upset and weak. He loved her for everything she was, but now when she was sitting there, she looked more beautiful to him than ever before. He could so good remember their first meeting.

"_Ok, why are we going there?", Derek asked Mark._

"_Because it's Savannah's birthday."  
"Who's Savannah?"_

"_The girl I met a few days ago."  
"Did you sleep with her?"  
Mark grinned, "No … not until up to now."  
Derek sighed, he had the feeling that his best friend wanted to change that soon. Mark was like a brother to him, but he was a man whore._

"_Oh come on Derek, it will be fun. We will get to know new people and maybe you'll fall in love."  
Derek laughed, "Whatever you say buddy."_

_They arrived at Savannah's flat a few minutes later. They went inside. Mark spotted Savannah, "Hey, happy birthday, girl."  
Savi smiled at him, "Hey Mark, thanks."  
"Happy birthday too", Derek smiled at her._

"_Thanks …"  
"Derek", Derek told her._

"_Thanks Derek. It's really great you two came here", Savi smiled at them. Derek looked around there were a lot of people in the flat. In this moment a black woman came up to Savi, "Sav, do you know where Addie is? She said she would be here half an hour ago."  
Savi sighed, "You know her, Nae. She's always late … maybe some shoe-drama." They laughed. Derek and Mark looked at them a little bit wired._

"_Oh, don't get us wrong. We love Addison, but she's always late", Savi told them, "by the way, this is Naomi. Naomi, these are Mark and Derek."_

_Before one of them could say anything more, the door opened and a beautiful red head walked in. She was wearing a midnight blue short dress with high heels. Her hair was open in soft curls. She looked stunning. Derek couldn't do anything than stare at her. She looked like a goodness. She walked over to them._

"_Sav, I'm sorry … I'm late."_

"_Never expected something different. Maybe I should tell you next time to come half an hour earlier than you're maybe in time."  
Addison smacked her playfully, "Funny. Happy birthday." They hugged. _

"_Oh Addie, by the way, these are Mark and Derek. Derek, Mark, these is Addison, we only call her Addie, because she has way too much names to remember them all."  
Addison rolled her eyes, "Don't try to be funny Sav, it never works out pretty well."_

_Naomi meanwhile went over to Sam, who she liked pretty much and Mark asked Savi, "You want to dance?"_

"_Sure."_

_So it was only Derek and Addison. Derek normally wasn't the dancing guy, but he liked Addison, so he asked her, "You want to dance?"_

_She smiled at him. He was really cute, "Sure."_

_They went over to the dance floor and danced for a while before they started to talk. The enjoyed each other's company. Addison looked at him, "It's really hot in here. You want to come outside with me?"_

_Derek smiled at her, by now he was really stunned by her, because she wasn't only beautiful, she was funny, smart and witty._

"_Sure."__  
They went outside and sat down on a bench, "It's really beautiful tonight."_

"_Yeah. So tell me about your names …"  
"You don't want to know."  
"I want to know."  
"You're sure?"  
"Yes."  
"Do you have a middle name or a last name?"  
"Sure."  
"Tell them first."  
"Derek Christopher Shepherd."  
Addison smiled, "Ok, so it's my turn now. My whole name is Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery."  
Derek smiled at her, "That's really a long name …"  
"Savi told you so …"_

"_Yeah."_

_Derek stood up, "You want to dance?"  
"Derek there's no music …"  
But Derek only smiled at her, "I can sing for you if you want me to."  
She smiled and stood up. They were slowly dancing. He was in 7__th__ heaven. He was allowed to touch her. He liked her so much. He knew he fell for her hard. The only thing he could think about this night was that maybe her name was added one day by another name. He hoped she would be Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd one day._

Derek smiled. Addison looked at him, "What are you thinking about?"

"Do you remember Savi's birthday when we first met?"  
Addison smiled back, "Of course."

Derek sat down next to her, "Do you know that all I could think about this night was that I wanted to make your long name even longer by adding a Shepherd?"

"No, you never told me."  
"It was all I could think about this night."  
"That's really sweet", she cuddled closer to him and he took her into an embrace.  
"So tell me, what it is what's bothering you so much."

"Derek I … the children thing … what if I never get the chance to be a mom. I mean I don't know if I want to be a mom, because maybe I wouldn't be a good mom, because Bizzy …"

"Don't say this. You will be a great mom Addie. You're not your mother. You are great around children. All our nieces and nephews like you better than me. You will not be like Bizzy. You could never by like her. I know this."

"Thanks, but I don't think …"  
"Addie, if you really want this and things don't work out, we will find other options. We could go and see Naomi. Maybe she can help us. We can do everything you want. We will find a way to have children. I promise you."  
"Ok, but there's another thing. You know there's a chance I will … die."  
"Addie, don't say this."  
"But it's the truth. There's a chance I will die. By now the cancer is better, but what will happen when it comes back and I can't fight it", tears were glittering in her eyes.

"Addison, I know this costs you all your strength. We have to believe that things will get better, I know this isn't really medical, but I'm not a doctor here, I'm your husband. We will get through this together. Just promise me that you want to fight this."  
"Of course."  
"Ok, so we're in this together. We were in everything together the last 15 years. I was in with you when I met you, because you are so … breathtaking beautiful and also smarter than most of the people I know, you're witty and funny and I love it when you smile. So I promise you I'll be there through everything. I love you and I don't care whatever will happen."

"Thanks Derek."  
"Always, you're my wife and I love you."  
Short time later their Chinese food arrived. They were eating in silence until Addison told him, "The chemo … the next date is tomorrow."  
"Ok, you want me to come with you?"  
"Would you?"  
"If you want me to come with you, I'll will."  
"Yes, please come with me. The last month Mark came with me, but it wasn't the same."

"I know. You want a fortune cookie?"  
"Sure", she broke it and read out loud, "Someone loves you."  
Derek smiled, "More than you can ever imagine."

They smiled at each other. It was a difficult time for them, but they could survive it. Together they were strong. Derek had to show his wife this so badly. Maybe her little break down was everything she needed, because she could show her feelings.

Addison looked at him, "I was thinking …"  
"What were you thinking about?"  
"The chemo is at the afternoon. Maybe we could go a little bit shopping in the morning."  
Derek smiled at her, "Sound good."  
She cuddled up to him, Can we watch a movie?"  
"What movie do you want to watch?"  
"Dunno … something with Russell Crowe?`"

"I really don't know why you like this guy that much."  
"He has good hair. I like good hair."  
"Funny."  
"Come on Derek, let's watch "Masters and Commanders"."  
Derek sighed, they watched this movie about thousand times, but it would make her happy, so he gave in, "Sure."

An hour later Addison didn't say a word. Derek looked at her. She was asleep. He smiled, turned out the tv, lifted her up and went to bed with her.

* * *

Hope you liked it and review.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys,

I should do million of other things, because I'm really busy in the moment, but this chapter came into my mind and I had to write it down ... so here's my new chapter.

I'm really flashed by all your reviews ... so now here's the place to thank some people, hope you like this and don't think that's anoying, but I'm so happy about reviews and you guys made me go on, so I thought it was about time to thank you (I put the names in alphabetic order ...)

AddekLover

Thank you sooo much that you liked that this story is quiet different than most others (with the cancer and all that stuff), because I was really unsure in the beginning if I should go on writing and if I should post it. So it's good to hear you liked especially this fact

AddekLover13

I'm realy glad you like the story. Thank you so much for your review.

Addie'sPractice

I'm glad you liked the flashback that much, it was so much fun writing it ... I think I will write some more in the next chapters ... it's always fun to write flashbacks ... anyway, thanks for your review

aiketi

Thank you sooo much for every review, I'm always so glad when I notice, "Oh, somebody really reads what I write and likes it"

alterus

You reviewed so many chapters of all my stories ... thank you so much ... I really appricate reviews and you guys make me so happy when you review. :D

AmyHale

Thanks for reading my story. Your reviews are always a pleasure.

Antoni

Thank you so much for everything. I think without you I would have left this as a one shot, you made me go on and I'm really happy with this. Also thank you that you suggested Archer to come in the picture. everybody ... she's the reason I put Archer in the story ... ;)

BadassGenius

Again, thank you really much, it's so much fun to talk with you about Grey's and Private Practice and thank you for all your reviews.

desil

Thank you for all the reviews ... you really make my day a bit better by reviewing ...

emmaknightly1982

You reviewed really every of my chapters in a row ... thanks so much for that, it made me smile when I saw this.

Ladyforga

Sorry I scared you that much ... anyway thanks for the reviews

lilio

Try my best for more ;) ... thanks for your review.

Mumuu

Thank you for all your reviews ... when I got reviews I see that people like what I write and it make me go on writing ...

PeaceLoveGreysPeaceLove

I'm glad you like the story and it's not a bad thing when you're not that good in suggesting things for other stories ... it's good to hear other opinions sometimes ... thanks for your review.

So, I hope I didn't forget anybody ... anyway I'm always happy about reviews ... go on reviewing, because you make me happy and when I'm happy I will go on writing faster. ;)

I'm really glad you liked the story so far, so I hope you'll like the new chapter too.

Love and hugs Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 6**

The next day Addison was awake earlier. She watched her husband sleeping. She smiled softly. She knew she was really ill, but now only for a few minutes everything seemed to be perfect. The sun was just rising. The master bedroom was in a low light and all worries seemed to be far away for a moment. She watched Derek sleeping. She never thought she would get her husband back, but he was back. He wasn't the man, who was absent anymore, he was the Derek she married again. His chest moved up and down, slowly Addison moved. There was something she had to do, but she couldn't have him around when she does this. She got her bathrobe on and went to her office. She sat down. She sighed. She had to this, she would hate herself when she wouldn't do it. Her and Derek's last will was safe with their lawyer, but this was much more personal. She got her pan and started to write.

_Dear Derek,_

_if__ you get this, I won't be alive anymore. _

_I don't know how to start, because so much I want to say, but I don't really know how._

_Promise me you won't get sad too long. You have to go on living. You should go out sometimes … maybe with Mark. He knows the best bars. Have some fun. Don't get me wrong, don't forget me, but please don't be desperate. I was happy the last months. You were there again. You became the man you married again. I know what happened was terrible, but we made our marriage work again. You forgave me. We started to become the couple we once were again. The years with you were the happiest years in my life. I'm really glad we met in med school. I fell in love the first night and you told me a few days ago that you wanted to my ridiculous long name a name more. I wanted that too. You were the best thing that ever happened to me Derek Christopher Shepherd. I love you more than everything else. You made me happy, don't forget that. You can visit my grave, but don't be alone for the rest of your life. You can't do that to yourself. Try to be happy, because you deserve it._

_In forever love,_

_Your wife_

_Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd_

Addison sighed. This was the hardest letter she had ever written. She put it in an envelope and wrote Derek's name on it. She went back to the master bedroom and into the walk in closet. She put the letter in the box with her favorite Manolos. She knew Derek wouldn't unpack them only when she dies, because he knew it were her favorite shoes. She closed the box. The first difficult task for today was done. She lied done again next to Derek and cuddled at him. A few minutes later Derek woke up. He saw that his wife was awake, "Hey gorgeous, you slept well?"

Addison smiled at him, "Yeah. You?"

"Too. Are you awake a long time?"

"No, only a few minutes", Addison lied. She hated to lie at Derek, but she couldn't tell him about the letter.

"You want some breakfast?"  
"I was thinking that maybe we could only get dressed and then have breakfast at Starbucks."

"Good idea. So let's get dressed."

Half an hour later both of them were dressed and ready to go. Derek smiled. Addison wore a dark denim jeans with a purple blouse. She hasn't worn this in years.

"You look good."  
"It's only a jeans."  
"You're ass look really sexy in this jeans."  
Addison smiled, "Oh Dr. Shepherd, do you try to seduce me?"  
He stepped up to his wife and gave her a passionate kiss. "Maybe. Is it working?"

"Maybe … but I'm pretty hungry, so maybe it will work after breakfast", she smiled at him.

They left the brownstone a few minutes later and went to Starbucks. Addison sat down and Derek grabbed their food, a vanilla latte and a chocolate muffin for Addie and an espresso and a beagle for him. He sat down next to her.

"We haven't done this in a while", he noticed.

"Yeah, what happened? When we were at med school we were at Starbucks every day."

Derek kissed her temple, "Promise you we will come here more often."

"Sound like a really good plan."

They enjoyed their time together and started to joke around. Derek smiled, in this moment it was like years ago. He smiled and remembered all the reasons why he had fallen for her so hard.

"So, you're finally finished", Addison noticed, "You promised me a shopping tour."

"Yeah, I remember that."

Addison stood up, "So let's go."  
Derek sighed, "Sure. Where do you want to go first?"  
"Hmmm … maybe we will start with Gucci, we can go later to Hilfiger, Prada and Dolce & Gabbana … oh and of course a short stop at Manolo. I also heard there's a new brand, it comes from Germany and is called George, Gina and Lucy*. I looked at them at the internet, they are really stylish. I need one of them … or maybe two."

Derek smiled, "Ok. So I see we have a lot of things to do, so let's start." He was happy that Addison was in her usual shopping mode, because he didn't know what he could expect later at the chemo.

He grabbed her hand and they went shopping. Two hours later Derek was exhausted they were at Dolce & Gabbana. Addison and he spent half an hour at Gucci and Hilfiger and an hour at Prada. Addison just came out of the dressing room. She wore a purple dress that ended shortly over her ankles. She swirled around. "What do you think?"  
"You look fabulous."

"Yeah, but I don't know when I should wear it."

"We got this invitation a few weeks ago", Derek started, "to this congress. They invited us as guest and they want me to tell a bit about the brain surgeon I did last year."

"Oh, you should go there."  
"I only go there when you go with me."  
"Derek, I don't know …"  
"Addie, come on. It will be fun, I bet Mark's invited too. It's in half an week. I didn't tell them up to now if I come, because I will only go there when you go there."

"Derek, you should go there. This is a great chance."

"You talked so often on one of these congresses and I was never there. I always sent Mark. I was so wrong there Addie and I know that. I want you there and when you, my wife, don't feel good, I won't go."

"Ok, but can you promise me something Derek?"  
"Everything you want me to."

"Stop apologizing for the last years. We were both wrong, but we should go on. So, let's look at our future not at our past. Ok?"  
"Ok."

"I just get changed. Ok?"  
"Yeah, I bet you have like thousands other clothes in this changing cabin."  
Addison smiled, "You could be right there."

She just went into the cabin, when her head popped out again, "You know, we should go there. I want you to do this speech. You did a great job and people should know. I will come with you and I think this purple dress will be perfect, but you need a new tuxedo and try to find something matching for the dress. Purple would be perfect Derek."  
Derek sighed, "I have so many tuxedos, Addie."  
But Addison didn't accepted a no as answer, he saw this into her eyes, "Fine, I will go and find something matching."  
"Thanks."

Two hours later Addison was finally pleased with an anthracite tuxedo they found at Armani and a matching purple shirt to her dress. They spent another hour at Manolo and found a George Gina and Lucy bag Addison wanted to have so badly.

It was by now 3 p.m. and they had an hour left before they had to go to the chemo. So they decided to eat a bit, because Derek was whining for hours that he needed food. They arrived at Addison's doctor at 3.45 p.m.

Derek noticed the change in his wife's mood. He took her hand and they went together inside.

At the reception desk, they woman smiled at them, "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, hi. Dr. Smith is waiting for you, she hasn't a lot of patients today."  
"Thanks", Addison smiled at her and went with Derek in Dr. Smith's office. A few seconds later Dr. Smith entered the office, "Addison, hey. It's good to see you."

Addison smiled, "yeah, I would prefer to be somewhere else, but I think I have no other option. Right?"

"Yeah", she looked at Derek. She had never seen this guy before. The dates before Addison had always come with another really good looking man. Addison noticed the look, "Oh sorry, Dr. Smith, that's my husband Dr. Derek Shepherd. Derek, this is Dr. Smith. She did the operation and everything."  
"Nice to meet you", Derek told her polite.

"Same with you."

"So, we will have a checkup Addison and then I will give you the next syringe."  
Addison nodded. Derek knew how afraid Addison was of syringes. Mark and he always made fun of her at med school, because she wanted to become a doctor so badly, but had fear of syringes. He took her hand and smiled softly at her. An hour later they were finished. Dr. Smith were just saying goodbye to the Shepherds, "So, we will look at your test results the next days and when there's something special we will call you. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Have a nice evening", Dr. Smith told them.

Addison and Derek went to their car, "I'm really glad we ate earlier that good, because I don't think I'll be hungry today."  
Derek smiled at his wife sadly, "Ok. Do you want to go home?"  
"Yeah, can we curl up in bed and watch some of these old Disney movies."  
"Sure. What do you want to watch?"

"Please, Beauty and the beast."  
Derek smiled. He knew that was Addison's favorite Disney movie ever.

Half an hour they lied cuddled into the bed and watched the movies. Addison looked at Derek, "Thanks Derek, for the whole day."

"Always, I love you Addison."  
"Love you too, Derek."

* * *

* George, Gina and Lucy is really a German brand and I love the bags. When you don't know the bags check them out, they are so damn great …

Please review :D


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys,

my next chapter is finally finished. It took me a while. I hope you'll like it.

Thanks again for all your reviews up to now. You really make me go on writing. I love writing, but it's even better when you notice that there are people, who like the stuff you write. So thanks for all reviews. Please don't stop reviewing and I'll try my best to write the next chapter very soon.

So, now I talked enough. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Half a week later the congress where Derek should speak was there. Addison was right, Mark was invited too and of course Archer was invited as well. He stayed in New York, because he still doesn't trust Derek. When Derek and Addison arrived at the event Archer and Mark were already there. Both of them looked good in their tuxedos. Derek put his arm around Addison's waist and they went over to them.

"Hey", Addison smiled at them.

"Hey Adds", Archer kissed her cheeks and hugged her.

"You look gorgeous", Mark smiled at her.

"Thanks."

Before Derek could say anything a photographer went over to them, "Drs. Shepherd, Dr. Montgomery, Dr. Sloan, could we have a picture?"  
Everybody looked at Addison, but she only smiled, "Sure." Addison stood between Derek and Archer, Mark stood next Derek. After some pictures for different medical journals a few photographers only wanted pictures of Addison and Derek. Derek smiled. He had missed that. Addison and he went out before he became absent a lot, because they got invited to nearly every party. Derek knew why, it was always because of Addison, because everybody who met her liked her and so she was a welcomed guest and because she was, he was too. He smiled at her. He loved that he was able to hold her again in his arms.

Archer still looked at them skeptically. He didn't like Derek and he still didn't get why his sister loved him so much, but she did.

Derek smiled at his wife and remembered the first time Derek got to know her family.

_Addison had called Archer the day before Derek and she came to Connecticut. She told him to be nice to her new boyfriend, because she really liked him and knew that her parents would be … her parents._

_When Addison and Derek came out of the airport a car was waiting for them. Albert, the chauffeur, was waiting for them. Addison knew him since she was a child, "Hey Albert. Good to see you."  
"Good to see you too."_

"_That's Derek. Derek's that's Albert. I know like forever."  
"Hey", Albert said. Derek just nodded. He knew that Addison's family was rich, because Addison and Naomi lived in really big apartment, which was Addison's, but he didn't knew she was THAT rich that her family had their own chauffeur for years. They got into the car. Addison grabbed his hand, "Derek … you ok?"  
"Yeah, it's just … you have a chauffeur."  
"Yeah, you have a mom, who likes you."  
Derek sighed, he knew that Addison and her parents didn't come along very well and that she only really liked her brother Archer, "Everything will be fine babe", he kissed her on the temple._

_A while later they __were at the big Forbes-Montgomery villa._

"_So, you grow up here."  
Addison shrugged, "Yeah, come on, let's see my brother he's the only normal human being in that house."_

_They went inside. Archer was sitting in the living room. Addison's face brightened up, "Archie!"_

_Archer smiled at his baby sister, "Hey baby sister", he hugged her, "How's med school going?"  
"Great. Archer meet Derek Shepherd. Derek that's my brother Archer", she introduced the two men. Archer looked at him closely. He seemed charming, but there was something he didn't like about Derek Shepherd, but he remembered that he promised his sister to be nice, so he gave him his hand, "Nice to meet you."_

"_Nice to meet you too."_

"_So where are Bizzy and the Captain?", Addison asked her brother._

"_I think they will be here in a few", Archer answered._

"_Ok", Addison sighed. She still thought that this was a bad idea. A moment later Addison's parent later Bizzy entered the living room._

"_Addison, you're here, finally. We were starving. You're late."  
Addison sighed and ignored her mother's impoliteness, "Bizzy, it's nice to meet you too. We had a good flight."_

_Bizzy looked at Derek, "So, you want to introduce me?"  
"Sure, Bizzy this is Derek Shepherd. Derek that's Bizzy."_

"_Nice to meet you Mrs. Montgomery", Derek told her polite._

_Bizzy looked at Derek from head to toe, "Nice to meet you too Mr. Shepherd."  
Then the Captain entered the room, he looked closely at Derek, "So you're the boyfriend of my daughter."  
"Yes Mr. Montgomery."  
"You know that my daughter will become brilliant in the specialty she chooses."_

"_Of course."  
"So, how are you planning to take care of my daughter, because by the way you look I don't think you can offer her the standard of living she is used to."_

"_Captain!", Addison exclaimed and looked furious at her father._

"_Addison, I only have small talk with your boyfriend."_

"_This isn't small talk, this is really impolite."_

_Before the Captain could say anything, Derek told them, "Addie, it's ok. Mr. Montgomery I know I can't offer your daughter the standard of living she is used to right now, but I will in the future."  
"How can you be so sure of this?", Bizzy now entered the talk.  
"Because I will become a great surgeon."  
"You're really arrogant. You're only in med school", Derek didn't answer to that, so Bizzy went on, "So are you planning to marry our daughter?"  
Addison was really mad at her parent, so she simply turned around, before she left the room, she turned around, "You always destroy everything! I didn't want to come here, but Derek convinced me to become, because after all you're my family, but everything you do is to show him how much you dislike him."_

_She turned around and left the room._

"_Excuse me", Derek told Addison's family and went after her. He found her by the pool, "Hey, you ok?"_

"_No! Every time something good happen they don't understand. They only destroy it."_

"_Hey Addie, it's ok …"  
"No, it's not. They talk to you like you were … nothing."  
"Addie, that's ok. If I have you, I can deal with your parents. I love you and they won't destroy anything, because I will always by your side."_

_Addison cuddled a bit more to Derek, "You know you're the perfect guy and don't give a shit on their talk."_

"_There's only one thing I really took serious?"  
"What?  
"The marriage question."  
"Derek you don't have to …"  
"But I want to. I love you and I want to marry you one day … if you want to."_

"_I …"  
"Don't say anything. Say something when I ask you for real."  
"Ok. I love you Derek."  
"I love you too Addison. You're ready to go in again?"_

_Addison nodded and they went inside hand in hand._

Maybe he didn't like Derek really much, but he made her sister happy again, so he had to accept it.

Half an hour later Derek was on the stage and told everybody about his case. He was charming and witty as always. Everybody loved his speech, he just ended, "So, that's it about the case. I'll be finished very soon, but there's something I have to say here. I'm really glad I got the chance to talk here. There's a reason I'm here. It's because someone told me a while ago that I would be brilliant doctor and become really great in specialty. She always believed in me and pushed me to be great. Addison, I wouldn't be half the man of who I am without you, I love you and I'm really glad you married me 12 years ago, you made me the most lucky guy in the world." He looked straight at Addison. She smiled at him and he saw that she had little tears in her eyes.

They enjoyed the left over night. Addison danced with Archer, Mark, but most times with Derek's. Derek hated dancing, only when she was around it was good, because they could dance perfectly together. Derek smiled, because he saw that Addison had fun. He hadn't seen her like this in a while. Maybe it was only for tonight, but it was worth it.

Around 6 a.m. Derek and Addison entered the brownstone again. They were in a good mood. When they entered the brownstone, Addison kissed her husband, "Thanks for tonight."  
"It was a pleasure. I love to take you out."  
"I love to go out with you."

"I noticed that."  
Than Addison did something she hadn't done in a while, she kissed her husband passionately. He pulled her into his arms. They only made their way to the kitchen, Derek pulled her up on the counter. He couldn't resist her, she was so beautiful. He didn't want to push her, but she started it and didn't seem to want to stop. Derek got lost of his pants and shirt very soon. Also Addison's dress was soon of. He had to take a deep breath. She wore sexy matching purple underwear under her dress.

"You look breathtaking", he whispered into her eyes. She pulled him closer and kissed him that he never wanted her to stop. He missed her. He had everything of her. He missed her being that impulsive and passionate.

An hour later they sat close to each other on their couch. Derek kissed Addison's head. She was wearing his purple shirt. A blanket was over them and they were cuddling.

"How are you feeling", Derek asked her softly.

"Good. It's been a while …"  
"I know. I didn't want to push you."  
"I know, but because I'm ill that doesn't mean I don't want this."  
"Ok, I know this now."  
"Ok."  
"So, what do you think we should do today? It's our free day."  
"We could go to the zoo. We haven't been there in ages and with the snow it would be so beautiful."  
"Sound like a good plan."

"Yeah, we're going to the zoo."  
"But you can admit it that you only want to go there, because you want to see the penguins."

"No … ok, maybe a bit … they're so sweet when they walk."  
Derek smiled, "Come on little penguin. Let's go to bed."

"Yes", Addison smiled at him, "but it's so comfortable here. I really don't want to move."  
Derek sighed, he picked his wife up, "Better?"  
"Yes, you're the best husband on the whole world."  
"And you're the best wife in the whole world", he smiled at her. Shortly before they reached the stairs the phone was ringing. Addison looked at her watch, "Who calls at 7.30 a.m.?"  
Derek shrugged, "Dunno. Don't answer it, they will call again when it's important."

Addison looked at Derek, "Ok, I know", Derek told her. He put her on the ground. Addison went over to the phone, "Montgomery-Shepherd."

"Hello Dr. Smith."  
Derek turned around, it seemed like his world would crash in this second, he hold his breath. Why was she calling? Why was she calling at such a time? Addison didn't say anything, she only listened. Derek tried to read her, but he couldn't. She wasn't showing anything.

"Thank you Dr. Smith", he only heard her say.

"What did she say Addie?", he asked her, but she didn't say anything.

"Addison …", he tried it again, she turned around, "It spread."

* * *

So, that's it. What do you think how will things go on? Did you like the story so far?

Please review and tell me what you think of the chapter.

By the way … I needed to make Addie like the penguins the best, because I love penguins. They are so sweet … so this thing was my craziness. Anyway, please review.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys,

here's my new chapter.

For all the people who read my other stories: I will go on writing all of them … I'm really sorry I didn't do this for a long time. I was really busy at university with exams, but this is over now. Next week is still university, but after that I have free time. So I will start update them than.

Now, I hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks to all the lovely people, who review my stories.

Special thanks go to Antoni and BadassGenius … thanks guys for everything.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Derek looked at her in horror. This was his worst nightmare. He thought she was getting better and now by two little words everything was crashed down. "It spread", Addison's words were in his head and he couldn't get them out. Addison stood at the stairs like she was frozen. Derek moved closer to her. He didn't know what to say. What could he say right now. He just pulled her close into his arms. Addison was still like frozen. He lifted her up and carried her to the bed. She was under shock, he knew this and he knew she needed some time, so he simply hold her and waited that she would say anything. An hour later she started to speak quietly, "It spread in the left kidney. She said that this is very rare." Addison couldn't go on speaking. Derek sighed, it was only one of her kidneys, he was in some way relieved, "Addie, I know this is bad, but you can go on living with one kidney, you know that right."  
"Yeah, because I do this for about 20 years."  
Derek looked at her in shock, "What?"

"When I was 12 Bizzy had cancer in her left kidney. They took it out. Four years later when I was 16 the cancer spread in the right kidney too. They didn't found a donator. The captain got tested, but he wasn't matching. Also Archer wasn't matching. I was matching. She was Bizzy … so they took my right kidney out and took it inside my mom. So I have only one kidney."

"You never told me that."  
"It wasn't important."  
Derek got angry, "Of course it is important. You're my wife. I want to know everything about you."  
"Sorry Derek … I …", Addison was stunned, she didn't expect him to go angry.

"Addie, sorry … I'm sorry, I'm just …"

"I know."

"Addison, look at me", he sat down next to her and lifted her Kinn, "we will find a solution for this."  
"Derek, even Bizzy couldn't get a kidney, and she's freaking Bizzy FORBES MONTGOMERY."

Addison saw a sparkle in Derek's eyes, "What are you planning?"  
"I know the solution."  
"What? Derek this isn't that easy …", Addison sighed.

"It is. I have a donator."  
"What? Who?"

"Me."  
"No, Derek, I couldn't ask you for this."

"You didn't ask. I want to donate it to you."

"Derek, no, this …"  
"Addison, listen, like you said you can go on living with only one kidney, but I couldn't go on living without you."  
"Derek, you don't know maybe they would find a donator."

"You just said it … the chance is really low, you're not top of the list."

"Derek I …"  
"Addison, listen, and please listen closely, this isn't funny, the chance that you die of this is really high. I know you don't like to hear this, but it's the truth. You can't go on living without a kidney. I need you by my side. I love you Addison. I love you more than everything and I would do everything that is possible to make you fine again. I will get tested today and if there's the slightest chance you can have my kidney, you will take it. Understood? Addison, you can't do this to me. I promised I would make up the last years where I was absent to you, and I can't do this if you die now. So please let me do the test."

Addison looked at him. She saw his determination in his eyes, she nodded slowly, "Ok."

Derek grabbed his cell and made an appointment with Dr. Smith in an hour. While he was doing it, Addison suddenly noticed she didn't feel well, she went inside the bathroom and boiled. This was from the chemo. She tried her best not to break down, because this was the last she needed now. A few minutes later she was feeling a bit better. She came out of the bathroom. Derek looked at her worried, "Are you alright?"  
"Yeah … it's … I think I will get dressed, because we have to be at Dr. Smith's soon."

Derek sighed, he knew she didn't feel well, but he also knew that she didn't want him to notice it that much, so he didn't say anything.

Half an hour later the two Shepherds left the house. They arrived at Dr. Smith's practice fifteen minutes later. Derek grabbed his wife's hand. He wanted her to know that he was there, all the way whatever would happen. She smiled at him a bit. He knew it took her whole strength not to break down. They entered the practice.

"Drs. Shepherd", Dr. Smith smiled at them, "I'm free. So come in."

Derek and Addison sat down. Dr. Smith sat down too.

"I'm really sorry for …", Dr. Smith started, but Addison didn't let her speak to an end, "No, don't say it, please." Dr. Smith nodded.

Now Derek spoke, "I want a kidney-test."

"Dr. Shepherd I …"  
"Dr. Smith with all respect, this is my wife. I can't let her die. I want a kidney-test and if there's the slightest chance she can have my kidney, I want her to have it.

Dr. Smith nodded, "Than we will do the test."

Half an hour later Derek and Addison left the practice. Dr. Smith told them that she would have the test results back the next day.

The next day Derek waited impatient for his mobile to ring. Finally he got the call he waited for. It was already evening. Derek and Addison were at the brownstone. Derek watched Addison in the kitchen. He prepared everything for dinner. He loved her, but she was really a horrible cook, he tried his best to teach her, but he wasn't really successful.

He entered the kitchen, "Hey."  
"Hey, I only put it in the oven, I don't think I did so much wrong with this."  
Derek smiled at her, "No, I don't think so either. Addie, Dr. Smith called me a few minutes ago."  
"Oh, ok. What did she say?"

"It's matching."

Addison couldn't hide her relieve, little tears were rolling over her face.

Derek cuddled her close to her, "Everything will be fine Adds. I take care of you." He kissed her temple and they just stood there for a long time. Derek couldn't describe his relieve that he was matching. He couldn't lose her, not after everything they were put through. She was his wife and he was grateful that it would stay this way at least for a while.

* * *

So, what do you think?

Liked it? Didn't like it? What do you think?


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys,

thank you for all reviews to this story. I'm so busy right now ... it's really crazy, but I finally managed to finish the new chapter. Also I write on new chapters to my other stories. I don't forget them ... I try my best to update most of them this week.

Hope you like this chapter and review.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 9**

The appointment for the donation of the kidney was a few weeks later. Derek needed all his art of persuasion to convince Addie that they should do the operation in Seattle. It wasn't easy, but finally she gave in, because Derek thought that the best surgeons were in Seattle. Archer and Mark wanted to come with them to Seattle and at this point Derek wasn't really happy, so they made a compromise, Derek and Addison flight to Seattle a week before the operation to do some sightseeing and catch up with Richard and Adele. Mark and Archer wanted to fly there in the morning of the day of the operation, which was late afternoon.

In the morning of the day before the operation Derek and Addison went to the SGH. Derek noticed that his wife was nervous, he hadn't given her the best memories here. He grabbed her hand, kissed her and hugged her tightly, "Don't worry Addie, everything will be fine."  
Addison nodded. They entered SGH. A lot of Doctors turned around, they knew that their ex-chief of Neurology had a wife now and that he left her for a while, but they didn't know the reason and everybody was curious, because she was really damn hot.

Meredith Grey, Izzie Stevens, Christina Yang, Alex Karev and George O'Malley were standing on the bridge and watched the couple while they greeted Richard.

"Why did he leave her? She's a really hot chick", Alex added his part to the gossip.

"Don't know … but you're right, she's really pretty beautiful", George answered.

"She's hot O'Malley … I wish she would be single …"

Izzie looked at Alex in disgust, "Is sex the only thing you can think about?"  
Alex grinned, "Dunno …"

Meredith looked up, "You're not helping … I can't stand seeing her with him. There must be a reason he left her, he deserves better than her."  
"You don't know her, Mer", Izzie told her.

"A bit. I worked with her when she was here last time, she seems like someone, who only looks good, but is really ugly in the inside", Meredith answered, she was really jealous.

Izzie looked at her in disgust, "You know what, you're so annoying Meredith! The last month you only talked about him, he's married for like 12 years. She's not the one, who stole him from you. She's his wife and she's a great doctor. She inspired me. She was the reason I didn't give up med school. I worked, because I wanted to work with her one day and I will go down now and say hi."

Izzie turned around and left the bridge to walk down.

Derek and Addison were about to go to Richard's office. Derek kissed his wife, "Can you catch up with Richard and me in a few, I have some things to talk to him alone."  
Addison lifted her right brow. Derek sighed, "Please, I promise you it won't take long and it's nothing terrible. I just want to make sure everything's ready for tomorrow and don't want to stress you." Addison finally gave in and nodded, "Fine, I'll catch up with you in 15."

Derek gave her another kiss, "Thanks. You're the best. See you in a few." He went to Richard's office. When he left Addison heard a voice from behind, "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd..." Addison turned around and saw a blonde doctor standing in front of her.

Addison smiled at her, "Hello Dr …"

"Stevens", Izzie answered her.

Addison smiled at her, she didn't know why, but she liked the girl. She seemed to be nice.

"Ahm … I was just …", Izzie started to ramble.

Addison saw that she was nervous, "You can tell me that over a coffee. I have some minutes."

Izzie smiled grateful at Addison, "Ok."

Addison and Izzie sat down at the cafeteria. They didn't talk for a while. Finally Addison started to speak, "So Dr. Stevens, you wanted something special?"

"Ahm … I … just … I know this sounds really childish, but I wanted to meet you. You were the person that motivated me to finish med school. I wanted to be able to work with you one day", Izzie blushed a little.

Addison smiled at her, "Thanks, that's really nice, but actually I'm not her to operate."

"Oh …"

"Don't get me wrong, you seem really nice and I would let you scrub in, but I will be operated tomorrow."  
"Oh, I didn't know …"

"Yes, Derek and I tried our best to let the gossip spread as less as possible."

"Can I ask you, who will operate you?"

"The Chief."  
"Oh … I'm on his service this week … so I think…"  
Addison smiled at her, "Good to know the surgeons before, right? So, have you already chosen a specialty?"

"Ahmm … I want to go for neonatal, but this wing here isn't really extended and we don't have a lot of personal here."

Addison looked at her closely, "In Mt. Sinai in New York we have a really good wing … maybe you should think about it …"

Before Izzie could say anything, Addison stood up, "I have to go now. It was a pleasure to meet you Dr. Stevens and I think we'll see each other latest tomorrow in the or."

Izzie smiled at Addison, "Ok, see you then Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd."

Addison turned around, "Call me Addison, my whole name is way too long."  
Izzie grinned, "I'm Isobel, but just call me Izzie."

"See you soon Izzie", Addison said when she went away.

Izzie sat there for a while and was like frozen on the spot. Addison was really nice, she really didn't get it why Meredith hated her that much.

Meanwhile in Richard's office. Derek had entered it a few minutes and they did some small talk.

Richard looked closely at Derek, "So Derek, we talked about the weather and your sightseeing. So tell me now what bothers you that much that Addie had to stay outside."

Derek sighed, "Promise me that you won't tell her."

"I hope this isn't about another woman or something like this …"  
"No, it's just … if something went wrong tomorrow … I want her to have the kidney whatever happens."

"Derek …"  
"No, Richard listen. We talk about the woman I love. She deserves to live and be happy. It's a standard operation, so I don't think anything will happen, but she will die if she doesn't get the kidney very soon. I want her to have mine, come what may. Promise me she will get it."  
Richard sighed heavily, "Derek, you can't ask me for this."

"Richard, please. She's the love of my life. Promise me."

"Fine, she'll get the kidney … come what may."

* * *

Pretty please review! :D


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys,

it's been a while since the last chapter. Today I sat (again) in the train and wrote the new chapter on my little purple netbook (I really love it … it's so cute).

So I hope you'll like the chapter.

Also I was thinking about the length of this story and I think it won't be that long anymore. I think about 2 up to 5 chapters. I'll think this over.

So here's chapter 10 and I hope you'll enjoy reading it and I would be so happy if you review.

Oh, BTW, I write a story together with BadassGenius, it's called, "When you really love someone", it's also an Addek-story, even if it doesn't seem that way in the beginning, check it out if you haven't done it by yet, it's so much fun to write with her together.

So a big thanks to all my readers and especially the ones, who review, you make me go on writing.

Now, the long AN is done … enjoy the chapter.

**

* * *

**

Chapter 10

The next day Addison was nervous. Derek smiled at his wife, he saw the nervousness in her eyes. He hugged her more tightly, "Everything will be fine Adds, when you wake up you'll have a new kidney."  
Before she could answer him Izzie entered the room, "Drs. Shepherd, are you ready?"  
Addison tried to smile at her, "I think as ready as we can be."

Izzie gave her an encouraging smile, "Everything will be fine …", but she didn't manage to continue because two men stormed into the room, "Are we too late?"  
Addison and Izzie looked at each other and had to smile really hard. Derek looked at his wife, seeing her laughing made him happy. When Izzie and Addison managed to stop laughing, Addison told her, "Ahm Izzie, this is my brother Archer and … Mark. You both idiots are really late, but not too late, this is Dr. Stevens by the way."

Archer kissed his sister on her temple, "Sorry, the plane was late … it really wasn't our fault."

Mark stepped at her bed and kissed her temple too, "Your brother is right, we planned everything and only the fucking plane was late."

Addison smiled at them, "Don't worry, you're in time and also you can't really do anything."

Mark sighed. She was right. He knew she was right, but he couldn't stand leaving his two closest friends alone during this operation. He went over to Derek, "Are you ready man?"

Derek nodded, "It's a good day to donate a kidney."

In this moment Dr. Richard Webber entered the room, "Wow, you are pretty popular, it's really crowded here."

Addison smiled at him, "Hey Richard."

Derek looked at him, "Addie's the one who's so popular. I'm only with her."

Richard laughed, "I expected so. Seems like some things never change. But now Archer, Mark, you have to wait outside. We will bring these two in the or now."

They nodded and said goodbye to the Shepherds. They went to the waiting room. They both hated that, but they knew there was nothing they could do. Addison and Derek were brought to the or. They laid next to each other. Addison smiled at Derek and he took her hand.

"I love you Adds."

"Love you too. See you in a few."

"See you in a few."

In this moment Addison's anesthesia started to work and she was asleep soon. Also Derek was asleep a few seconds after his wife.

When Derek opened his eyes again, he didn't know where he was for a moment. After a few minutes he recognized and saw the patient's room, he laid in. He looked next to him. Mark and Archer sat there and Addison laid in the other bed. She wasn't awake by now. Mark noticed Derek was awake, "Hey Derek. How are you feeling?"

"Ok … I mean I don't feel like jumping around, but I think this is normal after an operation. How's Addie?"

"She's still asleep."  
"How went the operation?"

"Derek, Richard should tell you …"  
"Mark!"

"They had a few problems with the transplantation, but in the end Addie's body accepted the new kidney."

"Was it bad?"  
"Dunno … Richard didn't tell us much …"  
In this moment Richard entered the room, "Derek, good you're awake."  
"How's my wife?"  
"She'll be fine Derek. It was a bit trickier than we thought it would, but everything went good. Let her sleep a little bit longer, she needs some time to regenerate. She'll be awake soon."

Derek nodded, he was glad everything went good even if it was a bit trickier.

Derek looked at Archer and Mark, they looked exhausted, "You know what, you should go to the hotel and sleep a bit." He looked at a clock, it was already 11 p.m., "I'll take care of Addie and you can be back tomorrow morning."  
Archer didn't see too pleased by Derek's idea, so Derek looked at Mark and hoped her would take his side. Mark looked at Archer, "Archer, Derek is right. Addie will be fine and Derek's here. We should go to the Archfield and sleep a bit."

Archer, who had sit by his sister's bed since she was out of the or finally nodded, "Ok", then he looked at Derek, "Take good care of her. I'm serious about that Shepherd."  
Derek nodded, "I will. See you in the morning."

Then Mark and Archer left the room.

Derek laid there for a while and looked at Addie. He hoped she would be awake soon. He closed his eyes for a while, because he was really exhausted and he didn't want to sleep but at least rest a bit before Addison would wake up, but he felt spied after a while. He opened his eyes and saw Meredith standing in the door, she didn't except him to be awake.

"Ahmm … I … hey Derek."  
Derek only nodded.

"How are you?"

Derek shrugged his shoulders, "I think ok", he looked at her closely. He didn't understand by now why he had been together with her. She was the Anti-Addison. Maybe it was that. Maybe he was together with her because she was nothing like Addison. He was really lucky he had his wife back.

Meredith misunderstood his look and thought he would still be in love with her and he regretted to go back to his wife. So she went over to his bed. Derek looked at her wired, because he didn't get what she was doing and why.  
Meredith sat down at his bed, "Derek I … I miss you."  
Derek looked at her, "Ahm Meredith I don't think …"  
"Shhh …", she put her finger on his mouth and leaned in and kissed him. Derek was too shocked to recognize for a moment, but then he did and stopped her, "What do you think you're doing?"  
"Kissing you."  
"Stop this. I DON'T want this. They only woman I want to kiss is my wife."  
"But I thought …"  
"You thought what?"  
"That you maybe would regret going back to her…"  
Derek laughed, she couldn't be serious about that, "I donated her a kidney a few hours before. I love her more than I can ever tell and you should go now. I never loved you. You were just … you were the Anti-Addison. I needed this for a short while, but she's my wife. She's my home. I'm married to her and I was damn lucky she said yes, when I asked her to marry me, because look at her. She's so beautiful, I really don't deserve her, she could have anyone, but she fell for me", Derek looked at his wife, "Now, go out! I don't want you here!"

Meredith was too shocked to say anything, she left the room. Derek looked at Addison, he remembered the day when he asked her to marry him.

_Derek was nervous like never in his life before. He would ask her tonight.__ They would finish med school in a few months and start internship. He had prepared everything, he just waited that she would come home. They lived in the apartment that Addison owned. It was a great apartment with a big terrace on the roof. A while later Addison came home, she had a stress day, she had a lot of lessons and after that she was in the library to learn for the final exams. She entered Derek's and her flat, "Derek …", she shouted, but he didn't answer her, so she went to the kitchen. There laid and envelope, she opened it and in there was a card on which was written in Derek's hand writing, "Bedroom", Addison sighed, maybe the night would be good. She went to the bedroom, but Derek wasn't there, but there was a beautiful knee-long dress in deep purple lying on the bed with another envelope with a letter in it "Wear me". Now Addison was really curious what Derek was planning, so she went inside the dress, went to the bathroom to let her hair down and look at her reflection. Derek really had a good taste. She looked good at the dress. She saw another envelope next to the mirror, she opened it and it was written, "Roof terrace". Addison went there and really hoped Derek would be there, because she now had enough of his little game. When she stepped outside, she was like frozen on the spot. Their rooftop was decorated wonderful with a lot of candles and a table with all of her favorite food. Derek was standing next to the table in a tuxedo. He smiled at her. She went over to him, "Have I missed something? What is this all for?"  
Derek smiled at her, "Did you have a good day?"  
"A lot of stress."  
"I thought so. I wanted to surprise you", he leaned in and kissed her, "Are you surprised?"  
"Yes, it's so beautiful."_

"_Thanks. You know I planned to ask you that after dinner, but I think I can't wait anymore."_

_Addison looked at him curious, "Ok … so what's it?"_

_He kneeled down and Addison's eyes went even bigger than they were by now, he took her hand, "Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery, I'm the luckiest guy I met you and also you agree to go out with me. I fell for you the moment I saw you. I love you, I love everything about you. I love your red hair and how you put it behind your ear. That makes me go crazy. I love how you want to become a good doctor, how you smile, how you sleep, … I love everything about you and I'm the happiest guy that I can call me your boyfriend. But I want more now. I want to spend my life with you, I want to be your husband and because of that I ask you know: Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery, will you do me the honor and marry me?" He pulled out the ring and looked deep into her eyes._

_Addison was speechless, she needed a bit time to recognize what was happening, "Yes Derek, I would be honored to be your wife."_

_Derek stood up, put the ring on her finger and swirled her around, "Addie, oh my gosh, you don't know how happy you make me. I love you, Mrs. soon-to-be Shepherd."  
Addison smiled at him, "I love you too, Mr. Shepherd."_

Derek looked at his wife. He had to smile at this memory. It was such a wonderful night. Addison was still asleep. He hoped she would wake up soon.

* * *

That's it. Again with a little flashback … couldn't help it. I hope you enjoyed Derek's proposal. I know it was maybe a bit cliché, but I liked it and I hope you liked it too.

Make me happy and pretty please review.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey guys,

here's the next chapter, it's pretty short ... but I hope you'll like it.

I decided for the length of the story. It will have 14 chapter. That means 2 chapters plus a epiloque.

I'm a bit sad that this story will end this soon, but the story I wanted to tell is nearly told.

BTW aiketi: I'm glad you can still read this chapter ... maybe I'll write the next chapter this week too if I'm not too busy.

So guys, thank you so much to all people, who read and especially to the one's who review. You rock my day!

Special thanks goes to BadassGenius and Antoni ... you guys are so great! Thank you so much for everything!

Now the AN is done ... like all chapters before I sadly own nothing ... but I hope you'll like the chapter and review.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 11**

Derek fell asleep a few hours later. Addison wasn't awake by now, when he woke up early the next morning she was still asleep. Derek sighed, she was starting to worry him really much by now.

Half an hour later Richard entered the Shepherd's room.  
"Derek, how was your sleep?"  
Derek shrugged, "It would be better if my wife woke up by now."  
Richard looked at Addison sighed, "Dr. Stevens will run some tests … we really hope she will wake up by herself."

Derek looked at Richard in horror, "Listen Richard, you can't do this to me she got through the ovarian operation and now this and chemo. Please tell me you're sure she'll wake up."  
Richard didn't look at Derek, "Derek, we're really sorry, we didn't see this coming. She should be awake by now and you know this. Dr. Stevens is one of the best interns. She'll run tests and maybe we'll know by then what's wrong with Addie." Richard felt sorry for his friend, but there was nothing he could do by now.  
Derek couldn't do something different than nod, he sat down next to his on her bed, "Oh God, please Addie, wake up. I need you. I just started to make it up to you that I was indifferent the last years. Please, I need you by my side."

In this moment Izzie entered the room, "Dr. Shepherd, good morning. Dr. Weber told me I should run some tests."  
Derek simply nodded, he couldn't stand seeing his wife lying there that helpless, "Yeah, you should."

He kissed Addison goodbye and squeezed her hand, but before Izzie could start to run the tests, he felt Addison squeeze his hand a little bit. Suddenly a big smile came to his face, "Oh my gosh, I don't think the tests are still needed."  
Izzie understood immediately and left the two Shepherds alone.

"Hey honey, everything is ok, I'm here. I'm so glad you're awake. Can you open your eyes, Addie?"

Derek hold his breath and slowly Addison opened her eyes, Derek couldn't describe the relieve that was taking over him to see her open beautiful eyes again, "Hey Addie", he smiled at her his best McDreamy smile.

Addison tried to answer him, but she was still a little weak.

"Hey Addie, don't worry. Everything will be fine. The operation went great. I'm really glad you're awake."

Addison smiled at him and formed a little, "Hi", on her lips. Derek couldn't stop smiling, he was so glad she was awake and talking to him. He felt like he nearly lost everything and now got it back.

A few hours later Addison was much better and Mark and Archer had arrived by now. Derek looked at her. She was too beautiful to be true. He was glad that everything seemed to become back to normal again.

In the evening Derek was outside with Mark and Archer when Izzie entered the room, "How are you feeling, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd."  
Addison smiled at the young intern, "It's still Addison."  
"Sorry, I just can't … I never imagined I would call you by the first name, you're my role model."

"I'm feeling better, thank you Izzie."

The two woman talked for a while, after some time Izzie asked the question that she was questioning herself for the last two days, "Addison, if I worked at Mt. Sinai, could I work with you?"  
Addison looked at the younger woman, "Derek, Mark and me own a practice at New York, but I have a few patients at Mt. Sinai and do the big cases plus I know everyone there, so you would be in good hands."

Izzie looked at her, "I called Mt. Sinai two days ago … and send my papers … and they told me I could start in two weeks if I want."

"Oh … that sound really good if that's what you want."  
"I want to learn from the best."  
"If this is what you want, you should come to New York."

Izzie smiled at her, "I'm really grateful for this opportunity."  
Addison smiled at her, "I'll call the chief of Mt. Sinai tomorrow and tell him."  
Izzie was glad she could go to New York, from the beginning she wasn't sure if the project in Seattle was the best one for her and she got the opportunity to work with Addison in NY.

A few day later Addison and Derek were discharged. They flow back to NY with Mark, Archer and Izzie.

* * *

Pretty please review. :D


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys,

my third update today ... I'm a bit porud. :D

So two more chapters to go and this story will be over. I'm a bit sad, but nevertheless I hope you enjoy the chapter and if you left me a review, you would so make my day, 'cause all I saw today was rain ... it's a bit depressing.

Love Mariella

* * *

**Chapter 12**

A few weeks later.

Addison felt better every day. The weekend was just about to start. Derek smiled at his wife. She was still with a patient. He couldn't stop staring at her. How could he ever stopped noticing how beautiful she was.  
"Enjoy the view?", Mark asked him.

Derek turned around, "She's my wife. I am allowed to enjoy the view."  
Mark smiled at him, "How are you doing?"  
"Fine. Addie's becoming stronger every day and hates that she only works two days each week."  
Mark laughed, "Sounds like she's annoying as always when she's sick."  
Derek laughed, "Yeah, she is. Do you remember when she was sick in med school?"  
"Yeah, she was so annoying and my notes weren't exact enough for her."  
Derek laughed, "Yeah, but I don't know any person that made so exact notes like her. It seemed like she's able to writer faster than the prof could speak."

"Oh yes … but we were really lucky she made such good notes."  
"Yes, definitely she brought us both to the tests."  
"Yes, I think I wouldn't make it if she didn't push me through this."

Derek laughed. In this moment Izzie entered the practice. Izzie got quickly good friend to Addison and with Mark and Derek she also came along pretty well.

Derek smiled at Izzie. "Hey Izzie, what are you doing here?"

Izzie rolled her eyes. "Nice as always."

Mark grinned. "Ah a woman that can see through you that easy Der. Be happy you're still married, you lost your charm over the years."  
"You wish."

The three hugged.

"To answer your question I only want to speak to your wife." Izzie told Derek.

"A case?" Derek asked disappointed, because he had planned something special for the night.

"Shopping tomorrow." Izzie said smiling.

In this moment the patient and Addison came out of her office. She said goodbye and went over to her husband and friends. She kissed Derek and hugged Mark and Izzie. "Hey. Shopping tomorrow?" Addison looked questionately at Izzie.

"Sure. Wanna talk in your office. This two don't seem so excited about that."  
Addison laughed. "Sure. See you in a few."

They walked in Addison's office.

Mark grinned at Derek. "Planned something for tonight?"

"What?"  
"You looked so disappointed when Izzie said she wanted to talk to Addie."

"I'm so not telling you."  
"Oh come on."  
"You really wanna hear about my sexlife?"  
Mark thought for a short while. "Sure." He grinned at his best friend.

Derek rolled his eyes. "I just wanna go out with her tonight."

"Sure. You know I don't believe you this, right?"

"Yes, but it will be the only version you hear of this story."

Before they could continue their talk Addison and Izzie came back.

Derek embraced Addison. "Wanna go home?"

"Sure."

They smiled at each other, said goodbye to the others and left.

Mark grinned. Izzie looked at him wired. "What is this about?"  
"Nothing. I only think that somebody will get very lucky tonight."  
Izzie rolled her eyes. "Urgh. You're a pig."  
"I wasn't talking about me."  
"I know and you're still a pig."

"Wanna have some drinks tonight?"  
"With you?"  
"Yes, with me."  
Izzie shrugged. She didn't know too many people in New York yet. "Sure."

Short time later Addison and Derek arrived at home. "So, what do you want to do tonight?" Addison asked him.

"Actually … I planned something."  
"Really?"  
"Really."  
"What did you plan?"  
"I will not tell you that."  
"Oh come on Derek, I don't even know what to wear if you don't give me a hint."

Addison kissed her. "I bought you something."  
"You went shopping and bought me something?"  
"Yes."  
"Alone?"

"Addison, come on I'm not that bad at shopping."

Addison smiled. "Sure."

"Oh come on, jump on the shower and I will lay your clothes on the bed."  
Addison smiled at him. "Can't wait to see them. Love you."

"Love you too, but go now, 'cause we'll be late if you don't get started yet. I know how long you always need to get ready."

Addison hit him lightly, but went upstairs.

Some hours later Derek was dressed in the suit he knew Addison liked most.

Addison came downstairs. He smiled at her. She looked stunning. He had bought her a knee long dark green cocktail dress. It matched perfectly with her growing auburn hair. Her hair was still very short.

"Seems like your taste isn't that bad."  
"Told you so, hun."

"The dress is really beautiful. Thank you, Derek."

"Always. You look stunning."  
She blushed a bit. "Thanks. So, where do we go?"  
"I still won't tell you. Come on Mrs. Shepherd. I know the way."

Addison rolled her eyes, but took his hand and they went to the car. Short time later they arrived at a beautiful restaurant where you could also dance. Addison smiled. She always loved dancing. Derek on the other hand didn't like it too much. "You go dancing with me?"

"First dinner, then dancing."  
"Still. You hate dancing."  
"Only when you aren't around."

Addison smiled. They enjoyed the evening and danced a lot. Derek smiled. He knew Addison was happy and it was really good to see her smile. When they arrived back at the brownstone Addison kissed him lightly. "Thanks for the night, it was really wonderful."  
"I hoped you would say this."

"But … the night isn't over yet." She smirked at him.

"Dr. Shepherd, what do you have in your mind?"  
She leaned in and kissed him more passionately. "A little bit of this." Then she softly wandered with her hands down his chest. "And a little bit of that."

Derek looked at him. "Are you sure?"

"Derek, it isn't like we have never done this before."  
"I know it's just … it's been a while."  
"Yes, I know, if you don't want to this is …"

He kissed her. "You're my beautiful and most witty wife, of course I want this. I just don't want to force you into something."

"You don't. I really want this."  
Derek smiled at her boyish. "Then … there's nothing that could stop me then." He picked her up and carried her upstairs and laid her softly down on their bed. He was a bit afraid to hurt her.

She saw this. "Derek, I'm fine, you won't hurt me."

He nodded. "I know."

She started again to kiss him passionately. This time Derek leaned very much into this kiss too. He wanted to show Addison how much he loved her and how much he wanted her.

They sank into a passionately night, which both of them enjoyed really much.

* * *

So that's it ... any ideas for the last two chapters?  
I still haven't decided the end so if you want something in or something not in tell me.

Like I said before you would make my day by reviewing.

xoxo


	13. Chapter 13

Dear readers,

I know it has been AGES since I last updated this story. I'm so sorry for this, I was so busy with my life that I never finished any of my multi chapter stories, but since I hate it as reader too, when stories you really love to read aren't finished, I will now work on it and start with this story, because there are only two more chapters too go. So I hope this story will be finished by the end of the week.

If you want to, you can tell me, which story I should finish next.

I really hope someone will read this and that you're not too mad at me for the long waiting, but here's the next to last chapter. I hope you will enjoy it.

Love Mariella

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.

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**Chapter 13**

Two months later …

Addison felt much better than only a few months ago. She was strong and she had gained some more weight plus her hair longer, a little bit over her shoulders. She had taken the morning off and went to Mt. Sinai, where she found Izzie, when she crossed a corner. "Hey you!" She smiled brightly at her.

"Addie. Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I have the morning off, actually I told Derek I had to see a patient, who's on bed rest." She admitted.

"Ooookkk, sooo any special reason you lied to him?"

"Actually yes. I was thinking that you maybe could run a blood test for me."

Izzie looked at her in horror. "Why? What happened? Do you think the cancer is back?"

"No, I'm fine, I was to the doctor's last week and he said I'm good. I was … I hadn't had my period for some time and … I think I might be pregnant, but maybe it's only because of the stress and everything and I don't want to keep Derek's hopes up, because he always wanted kids and the chance is really slim that we will have kids of our own and …"

Izzie smiled at Addison brightly by now. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me and we both have seen that miracles happen."

"I know I just … I don't want my hopes up too, because I want this too and I know …"

Izzie took her by the hand. "Come on, let's run a blood test. I will pressure them to do it first, we can have some coffee or maybe better tea for you and maybe we'll know then." Addison nodded at her friend and together they run first the blood test and then went for coffee. Izzie looked at Addison. "You know … we could buy a pregnancy test."

"The blood test is more accurate."

"Yes, but we didn't have to wait." Izzie pointed out.

"We'll know in a little while." Addison smiled at her. She was actually afraid what it would say, because her hopes were up and she was afraid like hell that they would be crashed down soon, because she was too old, because she had had cancer. All the facts were talking against a pregnancy. She didn't want to think about it for a while, so she smiled at Izzie. "So, wanna tell me now, what's going on between you and Mark."

Izzie smiled shyly. "Nothing really … we were out for a few times, but he's Mark."

"He hadn't met with another woman since you started dating or not-dating. This is actually confusing me, I think I'm too old for this."

Izzie laughed. "Yeah, poor old woman!" She mocked Addison.

Addison faked a hurt face, before both of them burst out laughing loudly. When Izzie saw that Addison had tears from laughing in her eyes, she couldn't help, but laugh even more. When both of them were out of breath and people around were starting to look at them really wired, Addison tried her best to steady herself. "Ok, ok, enough laughing." She announced and then looked at Izzie seriously. "So, do you like him?"

"Whom?"

"Mark."

"I … I don't know. In the beginning I thought he was only arrogant and full of himself, but when you get to know him. If he wants too, he's really a decant guy and I think … I like him. Does that sound crazy?"

"No! You know I have never seen him like this before and I think he likes you too, so maybe you two should talk about it." Addison smiled at Izzie, but before she could answer something, her pager went off, she looked at it. "You're blood test is ready. Sooo … ready to find out?"

"As ready as I can be, I guess." Addison smiled at her and they picked the test results up, before going to an empty exam room. "So, you wan a take a look yourself?" Izzie asked her.

Addison shook her head. "No, you look and tell. This is how these things work, right?!"

"Right." Izzie studied the results for a while, before Addison spoke up. "Come on, read faster the suspense is killing me."

Izzie grinned at her. "I told you to look yourself." But when Addison was about to get the piece of paper Izzie hide it behind her back. "Hey, that's mean!" Addison protested.

Izzie couldn't help but grin at her brightly. "Congratulations."

"Funny, Iz! I know I was to slow." Addison groaned.

"That wasn't what I meant." Izzie watched when Addison realized what she was talking about. "Do you mean …"

"You're 4th week pregnant."

"Oh my gosh!" Addison couldn't help herself, but hug Izzie tightly. "Thanks! Thank you!"

Izzie smiled at her. "No problem."

"Ok, I have to go, because this can't wait until tonight. It's killing me the last few days to keep this from Derek."

Izzie laughed. "Go! And tell me everything later."

"Will. See you later." Addison told her while leaving. Izzie had to laugh, she was happy that her friend was so happy. She didn't know Addison for such a long time, but she had never seen her happier and she was glad there that she was there to share it with her.

Addison entered the practice in record time. She saw that her husband was working on some patients files, so she entered his office. "Hey." She smiled at him.

Derek looked up and couldn't help but smile at her, because she wore her happiest face. "Wow, I guess someone had a good morning. So, your patient is fine?"He came over to her and kissed her.

"Actually I wasn't with a patient in the morning." Addison admitted.

"Ok …" Derek looked at her curious.

"I was at Mt. Sinai."

"Why? What happened?" He pulled her closer.

"Relax Derek, everything is fine."

"You sure? You're not sick again, right?!"

"No, not really. OK, maybe a bit, in the mornings."

"What …"

"I'm pregnant Derek."

Derek couldn't speak, but only hug and kiss her, when he found his voice again he whispered at her. "We'll have a baby." They were so close that their noses were touching and that Addison could feel his breathe while he talked.

"We'll have a baby." She whispered back.

"I love you so much Addison and you too little peanut." Derek whispered.

"And we love you so much daddy." Addison told him with little tears in her eyes.

Things hadn't been easy for them for a while, but now everything was fine, actually it was great and they were still together and loved each other, they made it though everything together. Derek knew they were meant to be together.

* * *

Pretty please review!


	14. Chapter 14 - Epilogue

Hey guys,

wow, I'm so impressed that some people actually remembered this story and reviewed. Thank you so much for this.

So, here comes the very last chapter.

Which of my stories do you want me to continue next? You can tell me in your review, per pm or join the poll on my side.

My unfinished stories are:

- Falling or Flying

- Holding a heart

- At this moment

- I'll love you forever

- Is it love

- What would have happened.

Also the two stories "Thousand years" and "When you really love someone" I write together with Antoni aren't finished, but we're working on this. Promise!

So, now finally enjoy the last chapter and I can change the status of this story to "complete", which makes me really happy. :D

Love Mariella

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 14 - Epilogue**

Five years later …

"Anyone home?" Derek asked when he entered their townhouse in Manhattan near Central Park. He heard giggles from the living room and when he entered it, he couldn't help, but smile. His son and daughter were sitting in front of the tv watching cartoons. Since half a year old Grace was too smal to understand it, her older brother Felix tried to explain it to her, but was failing. When he noticed his dad, he told him "Daddy, you have to explain cartoons to Gracy! She's annoying!" Derek kissed his son, he looked so much like Derek when he was a child, but he had Addison's eyes and her quick mind, it always stunned him, how good he could remember things and what he already knew with his four and a half years. Then picked his daughter up and tickled her, which made her giggle. She looked like the exact image of Addison, the only thing she had from him, was his nose, he was pretty sure of that. "I will try Felix. Where's your mom?"

"On the phone with aunty Ami." Derek smiled, his youngest sister had finally grown up, married and was pregnant herself, which made her freak out a bit, because of her past. She was afraid that her drug experiences in the past were bad for the baby and called Addison at least once a week, because she was her favorite sister and her OB/GYN and his wife took it all with the patience of a saint and calmed her down. Felix was hanging at his dad like a monkey and Grace was safely in his arms, when he entered the kitchen where Addison was standing and talking in the phone. "Everythings's fine Ami, we'll make a check up tomorrow and I'll show you. Alright?" She turned around and saw Derek and her kids standing in the doorway and she had to suppress a laugh, when she told Ami. "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow morning then. … Yes, I will do. … Have a good night and RELAX a bit. … Ok, see you. Bye." She ended the call and then went over to her husband. "Hey you."

Derek leaned in, which was quiet difficult, because Felix still hanging on his shoulders, but he caught Addie's lips slightly. She couldn't help herself but smile. "Felix, you know your dad is no climbing tree, right?!"

Felix giggled, let go of Derek and went over to his mom, who kissed him. "Mom!" He protested. "Kissing is for girls! I'm a boy."

Addison fake pouted. "Oh, you get to big and cool already, I thought I would have more time, until this happens."

Felix giggled, kissed his mom and whispered in her ear. "Love you mommy." Addison smiled. "Don't you want to show daddy what you painted today in kindergarten? I'm sure he'll love it." Felix nodded and ran off to get the painting. "You're clever wife." Derek told her laughing, put Grace in her high chair, went over to Addison and leaned in to kiss her properly. "Derek, our daughter is still in this room" She started to protest, but Derek simply pulled her closer and continued to kiss her, until he heard Felix footsteps coming closer, he gave her another quick kiss and then looked at his son, who was holding a picture proudly. He looked at it and saw four people, two smaller and two big ones. The two big people had stethoscopes around their neck and dressed in blue clothes. "Wow, you painted all of us." Derek smiled at his son. "Yes." Felix told him proudly. "I painted you and mom in the blue clothes you wear, when you operate." She smiled brightly.

"Wow, that's really cool." Derek told him.

"My kindergarten teacher liked it too and all kids were jealous, because their parents don't save people and when I told them that mom saves babies they loved it."

"I'm hurt Felix, you only told them about your mom." Derek tried to fake he was hurt, like Addison did before, but he wasn't nearly as convincing as her.

Felix laughed. "Of course not! I told them you fix brains, but saving babies is much cooler."

Addison laughed. "See Derek, I told you that years ago!"

Derek laughed. "Shut up! Go to the living room with Gracy, Felix and I will make dinner."

Addison smiled and moved with Grace to the living room and Felix was telling his dad about his day, before he asked. "Dad, why do you always make dinner and not mom?"

"Because I like our house and I don't want her to burn it down. Before you were born I tried to teach her how too cook, but she nearly sat our flat back then to fire." Derek told him dead serious, which made his son laugh.

After dinner, Addison and Derek put their two children to bed. Addison had sat down on the couch already, when Derek joined her. She cuddled closer to him. "So, how was your day?"

"Good, but I'm looking forward to go back to work next week." Addison told him smiling. "Don't get me wrong, I love to be with them, but I missed surgery and since it's only a few hours each week, I think it will be fine."

Derek smiled at her. "I'm sure it will. So, what are we doing at the weekend?"

"Tell me, you're kidding Derek."

"I'm kidding …" He tried it.

"You're best friend will get married and you forget!" She accused him.

"Of course not, I only wanted to see your reaction." He told her and caught her lips, before she could say anything. "I still can't really believe he'll get married."

"Me neither, but Izzie is the right woman for him. She was the only one, who could make him settle down."

"You're right. I'm glad they are happy."

"Me too and I'm lucky that Izzie's choice for my maid of honor dress is quiet good."

"Really? Because you're always so picky about your dresses." He teased her

"You're mean, I only have good taste."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what everyone is saying …" Derek said laughing. "So, wanna go to bed?"

"Sure." Before Addison could raise to her feets, he picked her up bridal style and started to carry her upstairs.

"Derek, what are you doing?"

"Carrying you my beautiful wife for 16 years upstairs and hoping that I could remind you of our wedding night." He smiled at her sweetly.

"Sound perfect Mr. Shepherd, lead the way."

"Always for you Mrs. Shepherd." He kissed her and was happy they were all here and happy. They had two perfect children, their friends were happy and he was happy that the cancer had never bothered his and Addison's life anymore. They had gone through a lot, but they made it together.

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One last time for this story: Please review. 3


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